15 quirky food things

If you've been living under a rock at the bottom of the ocean, beyond the reaches of Internet access and general knowledge of the happenings of the world, you might not be aware of the pandemic of notes infecting Facebook users everywhere. It seems that every day when I log in, the news feed on my main page reports to me that yet another of my friends has posted yet another note with some sort of list—a list of random personal traits, a list of books read and not read, a list of facts relating to one's being a mother, etc. I succumbed to the 25 Random Things one myself, as I have always loved things like that and have never not passed along an email like that where you fill in answers to questions about yourself like "Vanilla or chocolate?" and "Glass half-full or half-empty?" Nevertheless, all the Facebook note-posting is getting out of hand, so I've sworn to myself that I would fill out no more of these things. (I also like to avoid posting too much personal information about myself in my profile, not because I'm fearful for my privacy/safety but because I have this weird interest in maintaining some sort of secrecy about myself. I think, partly, I try to reserve some personal details for the actual in-the-flesh parts of my life. But I bet my therapist might suggest that this has something to do with trust issues. And I would agree with her.) That is, until I saw that my friend Anna had posted one about her personal food quirks/preferences/dislikes. Not wanting to break my posting rule, I decided to post my personal version here, where I can be as self-divulgent as I want because no one reads this! (Although I think I will share the URL with Anna after I post this. I think she might actually be interested in these nonsensical food-related ramblings.)

1. Firstly, I hate bacon.

2. Related to the above: I eat a wide range of foods, and there are few things I absolutely do not like, but many of the foods I dislike come from pigs: pork sausage, pancetta, pepperoni, cappicola, speck, pork chops, spare ribs and baby-back ribs, salami, regular ol' ham, prosciutto. When I was a child, some of these foods were my favorites, such as bacon and pepperoni, but proscuitto is one I've always hated. These dislikes are collectively referred to (only by me) as the Pork Rule.

3. Whereas the pork aversion is not a holdover from my brief fling during college with vegetarianism, this one most certainly is: I don't want bones on my plate. I find it incredibly off-putting to have to navigate the anatomical structures of the creature I am consuming.

4. I strive to always know what it is I am hungry for and to feed myself that thing when possible. This is sometimes challenging, because I also try to feed myself whole, nutritious foods—and sometimes what I truly desire is neither whole nor nutritious.

5. When I was a child, my favorite food was hot dogs. Now, I have many, many favorite foods: salmon, eggplant, granny smith apples, peanut butter, short-grain brown rice.

6. I cannot eat fried foods (or hot dogs) without getting really bad heartburn. This is unfortunate, because sometimes I crave eggplant parmigiana.

7. Most of the time I drink my coffee black. In high school I put sugar and 1% milk in it; in college, I switched to Sweet 'N Low and ditched the milk, but about two years ago I weaned myself off the artificial sweetener, too. A few times in the last month I have experimented with 1% milk and evaporated cane juice crystals, and sometimes after a hard run I refuel with a soy-milk latte, which I find heavenly.

8. I started cooking in my second year of college, when I took a semester off and lived at home. I like that it is a physical activity that balances out the mental/intellectual activities that dominate my life.

9. Fond food memory: When I was little, my mother would give me a small bowl of chickpeas or thawed frozen cavatelli to nibble while she made dinner.

10. Compared to what I know about food, I am dumb about wine and beer. What I do know is that I like: pinot noir, merlot, any variety of Sam Adams, Blue Moon or Hoegaarden with a squeeze of orange or lemon (or mixed one-to-one with lemonade). If we're talking liquor, I will always take a not-too-sweet margarita (rocks, salt) or vodka with lemonade.

11. I probably will never voluntarily try foie gras, sweetbreads, tongue or pig's feet.

12. Foods I don't want on my plate (because I dislike them or find them stupid): cake, sour cream, macadamia nuts, coconut, creme anglaise, foams of any kind, shrimp, mayonnaise, flan, Swiss cheese. My friend Erica recently pointed out to me that I don't like a lot of foods that are white. I've also realized that I hate white wine.

13. My favorite pasta is orechiette.

14. I eat red meat only once or twice a month, and when I do, it is in the form of a medium-rare burger or filet mignon.

15. I would like to eat a meal at the following restaurants: Le Cirque, Chez Panisse, Dressing Room, Maia. I would always like to eat another meal at the following restaurants: It's Only Natural, Sabrina's Cafe and Spencer's Too, Giwa, Caffe Aldo Lamberti, Oasis Grill (Cherry Hill, NJ), Harvest Moon, Spring Street Natural and, of course, Jane.